The delicate topic of toilets

The builder has insisted that this week, before the slab is laid for the extension I must go immediately to the plumbing merchant and select all sanitary ware and bathroom fittings.  Whooaa there, but I want to dither endlessly over such things, why so soon?   Apparently plumber needs to know such things yesterday, search me.

So we go for a romantic outing to the plumbing merchant in an outer suburban semi-industrial part of town (builder's guys, major discount, which we like) to choose taps, showers and .... lavatories.  When I suggested to the sales guy that we look at lavatories, he said 'you mean toilets?' which immediately got my English snob husband on edge.

Having a brief discussion before we leave home it is agreed that the loo we've put in the studio has a major design fault.  Whilst it may be groovy and sleek, the inside of it has a large flat area with the water sitting in a small recess at the back.  How to put this issue delicately?  Well, not how my husband explained it, that using it was like having a shit on a dinner plate that you had to scrape into the hole.  I don't know who was more embarrassed: me or the Ygen salesman, but he kind of got it right.  

(The builder explained to us later that due to toilets now using less water, the design of them has had to change so that the water area must be smaller to allow for the reduced amount of water to have enough whoosh to adequately deal with the, ehem, contents.)

My bug bear with modern toilets is that they are not very comfortable to sit on.  True I have got a bony arse, but I find toilets today feel like they have no seat at all and you are actually sitting on the rim, as opposed to the nice old big flat bakerlite seats that you could settle down on for a nice long magazine article, or two.   When I explored this topic with the Ygen and suggested he might like to sit on the toilet and see what I mean, he got very embarrassed, but did it anyway. 

Sorry, but if you are in the game of selling dunnies, you've surely got to be get over being embarrassed about what they are actually for, non?

Anyway, we finally found a lavvie that had a more central larger water hole, but I compromised on the uncomfortable seat. 

Since when have I had time to read a magazine on the kazi in the last ten years anyway?


  1. Yes, just been down this path with a husband as subtle as a sledge hammer. While we were there I was thinking to my why did I bring you. I wanted a toilet that was easy to clean (similiar to the one in your picture with no nooks or crannies on the outside - nice clean lines) and had a comfortable seat (I am pretty they don't exist!!!), but the salesperson was left in no doubt as to what he wanted in a loo.

    As we were doing the sitting and looking inside in walks the plumber. He tells salesperson that a particular toilet is the one we would be happy with. Husband thinks thats a great idea because plumber says so. Plumber then tells me it is easy to clean. Well when I am cleaning those loos I hope the plumbers ears are burning because he must be like my husband and wouldn't have a b****y clue on how hard it is to keep clean.

    Next time I will go by myself, sit on the seats and if I feel like it give it a wipe over to see how hard it is to clean!!! Louise

    1. So glad to know that I'm not alone. And hahaha, WTF do men think they are doing having an input on cleanign toilets when most of them have never touched one with a cloth in their lives! The straight sides on new loos are great, with the tap inside, avoiding the collecting of a greasy layer of dust and god knows whatelese afixing which the likes of us have to clean, on our hands and knees, with face pressed to the side of the bowl.

  2. I'm spoiled by a nice big seat myself being endowed with a large Puerto Rico bottom that needs ample seat space ;) I never mind toilet talk.

  3. I love, love, love my new straight side toilet. I'll never have another with that dust-catching trap on the side again.

  4. Agreed Dana, especially the concealed tap, which one does not have to fiddle around with on knees cleaning greasy layer of dust.

  5. Now I'm getting a bit worried, because we have just bought two new loos sight unseen! What if the one's we've bought are crappy?!
    I don't want to sh** on a dinner plate! Or do any scraping! Ewwww!
    Will keep you posted...

  6. Haha, will definitely keep this post in mind when we do the downstairs bathroom. Now how do I get that dinner plate scrapping image out of my mind?

    1. Sorry Simmone! A bit like one of those photos you can't undo seeing...


Love getting comments from blogland...